News Story - Chinese Student's Return Visit to NB
Welcome This information is offered as an orientation for hosting an international student for the Full Semester Enhanced Program or the one-week Winter Camp Program. The content is evaluated annually with feedback from the previous years hosting families to ensure you have access to the “best practices” that will make this a successful experience for all involved.
The ultimate “rule of thumb” is that if you are in doubt or if you have any questions, please call your schools coordinator. Together we will address your needs.
Thank you for participating in this exceptional international opportunity for your family and our students.
Winter Camp Families
Please note that the majority of the information relates to full semester placements with host families. It is hoped this will give you a greater sensitivity to the dynamics of working with our Chinese students. Clearly in one week, the academic focus is minimal while the interaction with your family and school to introduce our culture and make the students feel welcome is the primary objective. RETURN TO TOP OF PAGE
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While an exchange student lives in Canada, he/she is entrusted into your care. We encourage families to use their best judgment in working to build a warm and strong relationship between the family and its new member. Having children of your own, or having worked with students, strengthens your ability to meet and deal with each new situation. However, there may be times when you will want to seek the advice of someone outside the family.
Your school coordinator, with his/her past experiences in working with teenagers, is ready to help you either as a sounding board when a problem first arises, as a mediator, and general support when you think you need another opinion.
Living Arrangements
Each school can expect to be assigned 10-15 students. It has been requested that students be separately accommodated with their own host family. However, such accommodation depends upon the availability of host families in each community.
Where possible, students in the Enhanced Program should have their own room. Students in the Winter Camp often share the room of their “buddy” student if a separate room is unavailable.
Food
With respect to meals, it is sensible to treat the student as a member of the family. An objective of the program is to expose the student to Canadian way of life. It is not necessary to prepare a Chinese meal for the student for instance. The Canadian-style Chinese food may appear strange to them anyway.
We recommend that families start out with light meals, show the student what is available in the refrigerator, take the student to the grocery store and ask them to show you the items that they like to eat. Each student is different – and to generalize on the foods that students like is very difficult – as it would be to generalize on what a Canadian student likes to eat. We also recommend that families allow students to choose the quantity of food that they would like to have by allowing them to prepare their own plate from the meal that you have prepared (i.e. allow them to place the food on their plate). In another culture it may be typical for people to choose the item and quantity of the item that they want and place it on their own plate. Students may wish to cook their traditional food for their host family from time to time.
The most significant eating difference may be the size of our meat portions. Typically in China for instance, meat is cut into smaller pieces for the person to select rather than a large steak, for example. Students are here to learn our customs and we also want to have an opportunity to appreciate theirs, so your sensitivity to this gradual introduction is appreciated. RETURN TO TOP OF SECTION
Health Insurance
Students have health insurance that is adequate to New Brunswick standards and complete policy information will be made available to Atlantic Education International Inc. prior to student’s arrival in New Brunswick. Any insurance-related incidents will be reported through the school coordinator.
Travel/Visiting
Visiting other international students in your Community
International students should limit visiting each other to weekends, and only with the permission of “both” host families. It is not uncommon for students to want to sleep over at each other’s houses…sometimes without first receiving permission from host families! It is important to stress to students that visits from other students – including over night visits – must first be approved by host families. This should not be permitted on school nights unless you are helping out another family or special circumstance.
Visiting other International students within N.B.
Students wishing to travel to another part of N.B. to visit a friend who is studying at another school must ask permission from their host family. The host family should then contact their school coordinator to let him/her know that the student has received an invitation from another student to visit and that you approve. The coordinator will then check with the coordinator at the other school to confirm that all necessary arrangements with the host family in that area have been made.
*It is strongly recommended that within the first month students not travel out of the area to visit other students. Students should remain with their host family, as this is an essential time period where students and families get to know each other, their likes and dislikes, personalities, etc. The ‘bonding’ time is very important.
Visiting relatives/friends outside of N.B.
Students will always travel with the group of students from their N.B. school or with their host family. Any requests to travel alone must be forwarded to the coordinator who will then forward this request on to AEI Inc. AEI Inc. will then check with the school in the students home country and with the student’s parents to determine whether they have permission to visit a relative or friend outside of N.B.
Important Notice
Please note the following:
- Students are NOT PERMITTED, under any circumstances, to enter the United States. Their student visa does not allow them to travel to any country other than Canada.
- Students are NOT PERMITTED, under any circumstances, to “operate” motorized vehicles. These include, but are not limited to automobiles, recreational vehicles, snowmobiles, and four-wheelers. Their insurance will not cover this if they are driving!!
- Student should only drive short distances with drivers who have been licensed less than 5 years (i.e. within the community). An adult who has been licensed for at least 5 years must do all long distance driving (i.e. on highways). RETURN TO TOP OF SECTION
Personalities/Habits
The international students’ personalities vary just as much as Canadian students. Some may be reserved and shy, but will become more outgoing after they are comfortable with their new surroundings. Others will be outgoing from the beginning. Some students will immediately become a part of the family.
The Asian students will have English names, chosen by the student. It is common to call them by their chosen name. With Asian names, the surname will come first.
We have observed that students have respect for and knowledge of Canada. They will know of Terry Fox, the current prime minister and may know of Pierre Trudeau. Mr. Trudeau is respected by Chinese students as the first leader of a western country to officially recognize China.
Like most teenagers, the international students are fans of modern music, dance, some films, McDonald’s, KFC, and pizza, and will have likely been exposed to all of these things since they are available in their home countries.
The students will be very knowledgeable about computers, the Internet and other technical gadgets. Television is likely to be a great source of entertainment for them, in particular, because of the wide variety of channels available. Watching English television will actually assist in the development of listening skills.
Household pets such as dogs and cats may not common at home, though some students may have caged birds or fish. Therefore, the students may be reluctant to approach cats and dogs, owing to their lack of experience. With regard to allergies, every effort will be made to ensure that students with known pet allergies are placed in homes without pets.
Habits differ from country to country. Some students may not bathe as often as we do, or some may bathe more often and longer. Girls may not shave their underarms or legs. Some may not change underclothes daily, or may not launder their own clothes. If you have a septic tank, explain what should not be flushed down the toilet. Take nothing for granted. If your student is not using deodorant, explain to him/her that body odor is considered offensive and that, while in Canada; it might be best for him/her to use deodorant. If you notice that the student seems uncertain about anything, make sure you offer advice; many students will feel too embarrassed to ask you first. Your tact here is appreciated. RETURN TO TOP OF SECTION
Gifts
It is very likely that the visiting student will present a gift to his/her host family. It is important that the gift be received with a sincere expression of thanks. It is not appropriate to respond by saying “Oh, you didn’t have to do that!” The gift should be accepted and immediately admired. If it is a traditional item of any sort, showing interest and asking for an explanation of the item is recommended.
It is not necessary for the host family to reciprocate in gift giving. However, if the family wishes to reciprocate, easily packed items for travel are recommended. Items that have been given in the past are books on the Atlantic Provinces or the town/city in which they have visited. Maple syrup is a common gift as well, but it is recommended that it be in a plastic container rather than a metal can. Maritime music CDs or tapes are also appropriate. Students also like to have a picture of their host family. We recommend that you have the student send a digital picture of your family to their parents where possible. RETURN TO TOP OF SECTION
Communication
It is important to remember that communication is the key to a successful relationship between you and your student. An open channel between you and your student will not only help you through difficult times, but will also enrich your year together in countless ways.
It is also important to listen attentively to what your student has to say. You must be prepared to listen in a non-judgmental way. Only by doing this will the student feel comfortable enough to talk openly with you, and you can set an example by talking openly with the student yourself. In this way the student will be encouraged to communicate, and an easy give-and-take relationship will develop.
Your school coordinator should also be making an effort to communicate with you and your student on a regular basis to see how things are going. Families should not feel that these calls are an intrusion – they are meant to keep communication lines open and to keep abreast of all aspects of the experience. Let your school coordinator know how the experience is going – we need to hear the good as well as the not-so-good aspects you are experiencing.
You are always a phone call away from your school coordinator. You are encouraged to share successes, ask any questions, receive clarification, or ask for assistance in dealing with issues that you may be having with your student. Your first point of contact should be your school coordinator .RETURN TO TOP OF SECTION
Household Rules and Responsibilities
All of you will have your own set of household rules, responsibilities and behavioral expectations. Some you are well aware of, but others are so automatic and conditioned that you are not even aware of them. You may wish to make a list, before your student arrives, of your normal family rules and routines. Plan to slowly introduce them, discussing them in detail as you go. Remember that what you may consider normal behavior may be totally foreign to your student.
Students are expected to participate as a normal family member. They may never have made a bed, washed the dishes or cleaned a bathroom. They may not know that the shower curtain should be inside the tub and not out. Explain to your student what your expectations are. They can shovel snow, wash dishes and help with the laundry.
In families with younger children, a certain amount of babysitting would be considered a normal family responsibility. But under no condition is an exchange student to take the place of a babysitter. Here is a guideline to follow: one full evening of sitting during a weeknight and shorter periods during the daytime would be normal. On weekend nights, we hope the students will have other plans, and babysitting should not curtail their social life. Many students may not have had exposure to younger children and may not be aware of the do’s and don’ts in these interactions, so your guidance in this regard is imperative.
Some international students may wish to smoke cigarettes. However, smoking is not likely permitted at their home school, even outside the school buildings. Students have been told that smoking is also not permitted at school or in other public buildings in New Brunswick and this should be reinforced. They will also want to respect their host Canadian family’s wishes with regard to smoking in their home. If Canadian families do not permit smoking at home, please advise the student.
Please see “First Week Questions” sheet located at the end of this document. RETURN TO TOP OF SECTION
Money Matters
You are not expected to bear any financial burden for your student. The stipend you are paid is meant to cover the normal necessities of daily lunch or lunch money for school in addition to daily meals of breakfast and supper, housing and transporting the student to activities, as you would with your own children. The student should have sufficient spending money of his own and should not require any financial assistance from you. We strongly recommend that you not lend money to students. If a student lacks what you feel are necessary funds, please call your school coordinator.
You may find it necessary to help them set up a weekly allowance or to ensure that the student understands Canadian currency. RETURN TO TOP OF SECTION
Banking
Students typically arrive with large amounts of American and/or Canadian currency. The school coordinator will make arrangements with a local bank for deposit of this money. This will require taking each student to the bank to open an account and receive a debit card.
Students may still choose to carry a large amount of cash with them at all times. It is difficult to control this behavior, but students should be encouraged to carry only small amounts. RETURN TO TOP OF SECTION
Telephone and Internet
Explain to the student that phone calls within Canada as well as overseas are very expensive – perhaps more expensive than what they are used to. Students should have their own calling card or pre-paid phone card with them. They can purchase these at the Post Office and other locations.
It is also suggested that limits are placed on telephone usage for calls to international friends who are within the same school, city or province. Students will spend many hours on the telephone with their friends – speaking their own language – this is counter-productive to the objective of the program.
Many students will have laptop computers. It is strongly suggested that limits are set on computer usage, including Internet usage. It has been our experience that students like to spend many hours in the evening on the computer which is counter-productive to learning English, spending time with family, and making friends outside the home. We recommend a maximum of 1 hour of non-homework related usage. RETURN TO TOP OF SECTION
Bedtime
A bedtime should be communicated to the student. It has been our experience that students like to stay up late, chatting on the Internet or on their telephone to friends back home. However, this is a detrimental practice since students are very tired the next day at school.
High School Program
The actual high school program is a very important part of this exchange. Each international student will be enrolled in 4 classes at the high school. In addition, in the case of Chinese students, a Chinese teacher will instruct the students for one Chinese course.
It is anticipated that the international students will take their coursework seriously, including doing all assigned homework and tests. Host parents are asked to monitor schoolwork as they do for their own children. A copy of each student’s timetable, including names of lesson and subject teachers, will be made available to host parents. RETURN TO TOP OF SECTION
Religion and Politics
We expect the exchange student to participate in all family activities. If your family goes to church, we hope you will welcome your student to go with you. If the student is of a different faith, he/she may prefer to go to a church of her/his own following. Please remember, we are not trying to change the student’s beliefs, but simply to expose them to many different, new experiences. You may want to introduce him/her to youth groups within your church, even if he/she is attending another. If religious conflicts do arise, try to resolve them as honestly and openly as possible. We ask that the host families be sensitive to the student’s religious feelings, and that the students approach the situation with respect and an open mind. During the time you take to orient your student to your home (see section titled “Orienting your Student”), you might consider asking the student if they have any religious beliefs or rituals, and if so, could they tell you about them.
Note: Please do not request or impose on international students to attend your religious services. This must be optional without family pressures or innuendo.
In the case of Chinese students, they take a compulsory course in Chinese politics. They also participate in a number of days of military training each year at the home. It is strongly advised that the host families do not raise issues such as the Chinese government, political leaders, religious cults, illegal immigration, and Tibet. Though these might be interesting topics of conversation to Canadians, they may embarrass the Chinese student. The Chinese will never do or say anything that would knowingly embarrass the host, and they should expect the same from their hosts. RETURN TO TOP OF SECTION
Conflicts and Re-Matching
It is important to remember that, as with your own children, occasional conflicts may arise. We hope that you will think of your exchange student as another family member and, as such, worthy of being guided and supported through any difficulties he/she may encounter. Even though problems may stem from poor judgment, it’s helpful to discuss any problems calmly and constructively, without attacking. Emphasize to your students your own commitment to working out any rough spots. They will probably be glad to hear you think they are worth the effort.
A few students may be re-matched each year. This is not considered a failure on the family or student’s part. It is extremely important to realize that most family changes are made because the family and students are simply incompatible. Most of these students adjust very well in their second family, and many families whose first match didn’t work out have a wonderful experience with a second student. RETURN TO TOP OF SECTION RETURN TO TOP OF PAGE
Are You Ready to Host Your New Family Member?
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This section has been prepared to help you make the adjustment period run smoothly and the exchange experience truly rewarding for both you and your student.
The objectives of the semester are:
- to expose the international students to Canadian ways of life, values, and culture;
- to reinforce the use of English in day to day communication;
- to experience the Canadian education system by attending regular high school classes.
First Time Away from Home
Whether you are a younger person or an adult, we hope you can remember your feelings the first time you went away from home for an extended period of time – especially if you went a long way from home, into a strange and unfamiliar environment. The stronger your memory of those feelings, the more you will understand what your exchange student will be feeling. Understanding will make your student feel like one of the family. RETURN TO TOP OF SECTION
Take It Easy at First
In your initial desire to show your interest in the student and to assure him/her of your good intentions, you may have a tendency to bombard him/her with a flurry of questions and activities. We do not want to discourage your efforts, but make sure that everyone has a chance to breathe, to absorb each event as it happens.
If you make plans for a night out, and suddenly your student asks to be excused, don’t be insulted or upset; it is merely his/her way of taking a step toward independence. It may even be a good idea to provide an opportunity for him/her to spend an evening at home alone now and then, as would normally happen with other members of the family. In time, everything will fall into place. The student suddenly becomes just another son or daughter in the home.
You may notice that students want to spend a lot of time in their room. To them, their bedroom is their ‘safe zone’…they don’t have to talk to people in there! At first, students may be lonely, shy, or even scared. Plus, they are listening and concentrating at school all day, so when they come home in the evening, they may just want some quiet time. Allowing some quiet time is important, but remaining in their room the whole evening should be discouraged. Time with family is important. You may need to draw the students out of their room.
Students who participate in these programs are generally flexible, eager to learn, to participate and to share. Within a few short months they are speaking more English, working in school, participating in family activities and enjoying the new friendships that have developed. RETURN TO TOP OF SECTION
Treat Your Student Like One of the Family
In the beginning there is also a great temptation to treat your student like a guest. People may prepare special meals; they may shower the student with attention and make many exceptions for him/her. This may be fine for the first week, as it allows your family and student to get to know one another. Gradually work your student into your family routines, rules and regulations/responsibilities. Be yourself, and don’t treat your student differently from your other children. As difficult as it may be in the beginning, you should refrain from ‘spoiling’ or ‘pampering’ the student (i.e. – allowing them to not make their bed, allowing them to stay up late talking on the phone, etc.). Once this trend is set, it is extremely difficult to break it. Be fair, but firm with your expectations. The student wants to be a member of a Canadian family, and sometimes that will mean supportive use of positive or negative feedback to provide caring parental guidance as well as loved. RETURN TO TOP OF SECTION
Enrich Experiences
We want students to have a full, enriching experience in New Brunswick. For example, we want them to meet people, do new things, and get to know their community. Families can extend these experiences by encouraging students to take part in school activities, and by encouraging friends to take the students along to social events, visit local attractions, attend sporting events, let the student cook a personal recipe and shop for the ingredients, or a variety of other activities. There are countless ways of providing enriching experiences. For Winter Camp, The time will go quickly so be sure to see what activities are planned by the school, then make a list with your children of things you could schedule. It will be an action packed week. RETURN TO TOP OF SECTION
Language Difficulties
International students will have a variety of English abilities and study habits. It is tiring at first for the student to hear and respond continuously in English. Once the student adjusts to your voice and manner of expression, it will be much easier for him/her to learn and understand our language. You, the host family, are going to be the primary source of learning during the semester.
Students in language classes often learn opposites (e.g. good and bad, wonderful and terrible). They seldom learn in-between words. Therefore, don’t be offended if your student says something is ‘stupid’ or ‘terrible’ or ‘funny’ because these may be the only English words he/she has had to use. Many students are very experienced in expressing themselves in very definite terms. Their words may sound rude, tactless and insensitive. They may sound very authoritative and argumentative, but this is usually not what they mean. While the reply may sound ‘blunt’ the intent is typically limited by their vocabulary. Students are typically very courteous when speaking their language. It is just their manner and custom of speaking, another cultural difference that all of us need to try and understand.
When a student has not done something you asked him/her to do, check first to find out if he/she understood. Sometimes a student is so embarrassed by his/her confusion that you will need to make him/her very aware that in your home he/she need not be afraid to speak, no matter how poorly. Make your student talk! Encourage him to practice. Be aware that when a student does speak English well when he first arrives, he/she may not be able to read or write it well. Throughout the term you will find things misunderstood because of one misinterpreted word. Also, the student will use a word incorrectly, so you may completely misjudge what was said. If you have a student with lower language level, you may need to repeat yourself many times, especially in the beginning. If you find that you are not being understood, try expressing yourself in writing. Some students are very good readers, but have not fully developed their listening and speaking skills yet. More information on the areas that students need to improve will be provided prior to the student’s arrival. RETURN TO TOP OF SECTION
Expectations
Time after time, host families have indicated that students and families fall into place a little easier when the expectations for the household (i.e. chores, maximum amount of time on the computer, bedtime, etc.) are clearly defined from the beginning. It is much easier to outline these areas at the beginning. Families who have been more relaxed during the first month with their student have found it more difficult to get students to begin chores, or adapt to restrictions on computer usage after they have already been used to not doing chores or being on the computer for hours in the evening. We encourage families to set these guidelines immediately…it’s much easier to relax guidelines after they are in place than to try to instill rules and regulations once a pattern has been set. Please use the First Week questionnaire at the end of this booklet on second or third night after arrival. RETURN TO TOP OF SECTION
Culture Shock
Be alert to signs of fatigue, confusion, and physical discomfort, even homesickness. Talk to your student about it; he/she may not know anything about culture shock. He/she needs to know that you understand this and that you will be patient. Sometimes, students need to be alone, without anyone talking to them. Often they really enjoy just watching TV, which allows them to listen to English without responding.
The Four Stages of Culture Shock:
The Honeymoon – Students are excited about their new experiences and surroundings. Students will begin to associate Canada with their home country. They will also look for similarities between the two, and this helps them feel more comfortable.
Shock – Students start to feel a little disoriented. They will start to notice the differences between Canadian living and home. At this point the student might feel the most homesick. Most students do not display strong symptoms; however, some may get sleepier or need more time alone away from the host family. Keep the lines of communication open during this time, as the students may want to talk about their feelings.
Recovery – Students feel more comfortable, relaxed and secure within their surroundings.
Home free – Students are now members of the family. Students will begin to enjoy the differences of their new life. They will also display more confidence and feel at home with their host family.
Students are likely to go through these stages at different paces and some may not experience any culture shock. Culture shock is temporary for most students. RETURN TO TOP OF SECTION RETURN TO TOP OF PAGE
Helpful Hints
We have compiled the following list of hints from past and present host families. Their experience and knowledge is invaluable, and we thank them for their insight.
- Students will look for clues and cues from you on how things are done in New Brunswick. For example, when you are buttering a piece of bread, they may model your behavior. This is a new culture for them, and some of the very simple things that we do in Canada may be completely different than how things are done at home.
- Depending on the language level your student has upon arrival, it may be easier to show and tell the students where to find things in your home (i.e. show them where the towels are kept, or which cupboard the plates are found). The first few days can be very overwhelming, so you may need to show them a few times before they remember where everything is kept.
- Some families have found that writing the names of common household items on a piece of paper and attaching it to the item, assist the student in increasing their vocabulary (i.e. refrigerator, stove, television, stereo, table, chair, etc.)
- There are likely some chores in your home that you do automatically, which you may no longer even think of as a chore (i.e. making the bed, emptying garbage, etc.). Take some time prior to the student’s arrival and think about your daily routine. You may need to be very explicit in what you wish the student to do (i.e. put dirty laundry in the basket, place wet towels on a specific rack, etc.)
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Communication, communication, communication. It is the key! You may not know many of the other host families in your area, but your coordinator will supply you with a list of host families, telephone numbers, etc. By the end of the semester, you will likely know all of the host families and where they live. Communicating with other families is a great support system…you can learn about some the things that they are doing with their student, and share ideas.
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Lists and timetables are important. For example, you can list the activities that your family participates in, or include your weekly work schedule, routine, etc. Include the time, location, telephone numbers, etc. Then, post it so that the student can easily refer to it - instead of asking you time after time.
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Many second language learners enjoy cartoons on TV because the language is simple, the visuals are colorful and the storylines are uncomplicated.
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Provide a student with a map of the area. You may wish to circle your location on the map. You might also take a picture of your home and write your address/phone number on the back. Though you may not think that your house looks anything like your neighbor’s house, your new student may not be used to seeing so many individual family dwellings!
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Some families have found that picture dictionaries are helpful. Once your student arrives, you will get a better feel for their language level, and you may wish to purchase the picture dictionary…it’s handy when you are trying to explain something!
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Let your student know that it is ok to make mistakes. This will help them feel more at ease around your home, and especially in speaking English with you.
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Ask open-ended questions. Rather than saying “did you have a good day at school today?” which requires a yes/no answer; you might instead ask “what did you do in English class today?” This makes the students think, they can hear themselves speak English, and they can practice sentence structure.
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At suppertime, you might begin the ‘neverending story’. The way this works, is that you begin with an idea (i.e. “Stephen went to the store today, but forgot to bring enough money with him, so he had to phone home…” Each day, you can add another part on to the story. In this way, the student is learning to follow the sentence/story; they are practicing their listening skills, and adding to the story at the same time. These stories can turn out to be pretty funny.
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Baking together can be fun. As you are pulling out the items, you can say the words in English (i.e. flour, measuring cup, bowl, onion, etc.). Maybe your student can then teach you the translation to their language. RETURN TO TOP OF PAGE
Recommended Pre-arrival Family Discussions
The New Baby Syndrome
Many of the families who have hosted international students have compared having an exchange student to having a new baby. Before he/she arrives, you are excited, expectant and filled with great plans for how wonderful it is going to be. The baby arrives and the excitement is even greater than you imagined. However, at some point, the excitement diminishes, and the responsibilities and new decisions begin to overwhelm you. Problems pop up that you never expected (as well as the ones you expected), and all of a sudden life is not the same anymore. But then you adjust to the newness, the strangeness, and the relationship develops and grows. Your positive feelings are strong enough to carry you through the ups and downs and make it all worthwhile.
Sibling Rivalry
Don’t be surprised if your own children show signs of jealousy over this ‘intruder.’ The best of them do and it is completely normal. It is important to acknowledge this to the student immediately, because he/she will be very uncomfortable about it. Also, talk to your own children and help them with it. Try to treat the student the same way you do your own children. Too much special treatment for the student can fuel jealousy. Make certain the student is required to follow the same rules as your own children.
To Host Brothers and Sisters: You will want to introduce your exchange student to your friends, at school, and in your neighborhood and community. Don’t be upset, however, if he/she seems shy in this new and different atmosphere. Don’t feel slighted, either, if the relationship that you hoped would be close doesn’t materialize immediately. Everyone needs time to adjust and have freedom to find his or her own way. Just be sure you make it known that you are glad that he/she is with your family and that you want to share your family life as quickly as possible. Some students may quickly find a ‘best friend’ at school. Remember that this doesn’t mean that your relationship with him/her has to change.
Your mother and father may seem to pay a great deal of attention to your new family member when he/she arrives. They want to make him/her feel welcome and feel at ease, and may at first seem to go overboard with attention.
To Host Parents: Try to remember that the brother/sister relationship is important since peer group activities will constitute most of the exchange experience. Encourage your own children to help the exchange student feel like one of the family – but do not make him/her a guest or VIP. Basically, you should treat your student as you treat your own children. If your children, for instance, address you by your first names instead of ‘mom’ and ‘dad,’ and you want the exchange student to do the same, make your feelings known. Every home has certain rules. Be sure the student knows about them. It is important for the student to feel comfortable approaching you for advice on problems that might be too embarrassing to discuss with younger people. You’ll find that openness and frankness are two words to live by during this exchange experience. RETURN TO TOP OF PAGE
The host family is expected to treat the student as if he or she were their own child. They should support the student’s learning and development throughout the year, set reasonable household rules and chores for their student (see “First Week Question Sheet”). Families are expected to spend time with, and get to know the student. They should let the student know when behaviours are acceptable and encouraged and those that are unacceptable or discouraged. Families should be flexible, allowing the student to make mistakes and grow. Families are asked to provide 3 meals each day for the student. This includes either making a lunch for the student to take to school or providing money so that the student can purchase lunch at the cafeteria
Activities
Encourage your student to get involved in extra-curricular activities at school, ask them to go with you to a hockey game, grocery shopping, set the table, etc. If you have trouble getting your student involved in these school and family activities, speak with your coordinator as intervention and encouragement from others may be necessary.
We know that sometimes families run out of ideas for things to do on weekends or holidays. Therefore, we have put together a few ideas that you can refer to if you feel it is necessary.
Outdoor activities:
- Sleigh ride
- Hike on a nature trail
- Paint ball
- Fishing
- Winter games
- Swim night
- Hockey game
- Bonfire
- Playing pool
- School dance
- Potluck supper
- Swimming at a pool
- Talent night
- Shopping
- Hands-on crafts
- Gym games
- Board games
- Museum
- Historical sites
- Provincial/national parks
- Local industries: mines, fishing, farming
- Visit to studios of local artists
- Visit to Town hall
Cultural activities:
- Celebrate traditional holidays
- Multicultural dinner
- Local talent does workshop with participants (i.e.: how to play an instrument, make maple syrup, etc.)
Down time:
The first week of your home stay will likely be filled with lots of questions, new experiences and maybe a little confusion. This section is meant to help families and students get acquainted and set up some guidelines so that everyone will know what to expect. Sometime during the first two days after the student arrives, we suggest that families and students sit down and talk about these items. Your student will need to know the answers to these questions.
QUESTION |
Laundry:
- Do I do my own laundry or does someone in the family do it?
- Is there a hamper/laundry basket for my clothes to be washed?
- Is there a certain day or time when laundry is done?
- Will someone provide instructions on the washer and dryer if I am doing my laundry?
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Meals:
- Do I help set the table?
- Do I help clear the table?
- Do I help with the dishes and which ones (e.g. pots, dinnerware?)
- Does the family eat meals together – breakfast, lunch and dinner?
- Is there a specific time for each meal?
- Do I make my own lunch for school?
- May I help myself to the milk, pop, juice, etc. in the refrigerator?
- May I help myself to snacks?
- Are there any rules for the use of the stove, small appliances, etc.?
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Bathroom Issues:
- Is there a specific time I should take my shower/bath?
- Should I leave my toiletries in the bathroom (e.g. specific part of the cabinet)?
- Where are the towels located? Any rules regarding towels?
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Bedroom:
- What are the rules for my bedroom? (e.g. making beds, changing beds, cleaning the room)?
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General Household:
- Will I have my own key to the house?
- Are there security systems I should be aware of?
- Are there any areas or rooms that are off limits to me?
- Are there rules for the use of TV, stereo, etc. (time of use, equipment that should not be touched)?
- Are there particular chores you want me to do – vacuum, dust, etc.?
- Are there specific rules regarding pets (e.g. indoor cat or dog that should not be let outside, etc.)
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Family Notes:
- Are there any special dates while I am here for particular family members (e.g. birthdays, anniversaries)?
- Are there any pet peeves family members have which I should be aware of (e.g.: use of a particular chair, too long in the shower, use of tools)?
- Will I have an alarm clock or will someone awaken me in the morning?
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Other:
- Is there a specific bedtime that I need to observe?
- What is the time limit for computer usage?
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It is appropriate for the parents to let the student know when they are not doing something that has been requested, and recognize that the proper behavior may need to be demonstrated, as the confusion may be the result of a language barrier. RETURN TO TOP OF PAGE
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